Accepted in the Beloved

For a very long time in my life I have been the girl that feels alone in a crowded room. And most times if you asked the people in that room what they thought of me they would have probably said that they loved me or that I was awesome. The sad thing is I would have never believed them.

Or if I did believe them it would have been for as long as I was in their presence and shortly after we parted ways I would have fully believed that they really hated me or strongly dislike me. Maybe I annoyed them and they really just put up with me because it was the Christian thing to do. So for a long time in my life I walked around feeling like the biggest outcast, misfit, poster child for rejection and any other thing you could label a person who is unwanted.



I felt unwanted. 

And truthfully sometimes I was. But I allowed those times that I was, to be bigger than the times that I wasn’t. I am the type of person to embrace love by a few key people; my problem was I sometimes gave my keys to the wrong people.

I’ve spent a lot of time exhausting energies in pursuing people. Chasing people and wondering when we would be “friends”. I believed that I must provide for people something in order for them to want me to stick around. I thought to myself that maybe if I do this or that, they will see some value in me and realize that I would be a good addition to their life. If I joined this team or that team, if I had this spiritual gift or that one, if I made them laugh, if I had this cool talent or if I could mystify their mind with deep and probing thoughts, then maybe just maybe they would want to be my friend. I would prostitute myself to people in order to gain acceptance because you are only as good to people as the service in which you can provide to them.

But this is all a lie from the enemy. The truth is I am accepted in the beloved.

I really don’t know the exact root to this yet but I am sure I am going to get to that one day. The Lord will revel all that I need to know in perfect time. But I can say that the Holy Spirit has been faithful in His kind ways of showing me how much I am wanted. The Holy Spirit is the one that constantly reminds me that I am accepted in the beloved. Due to the cross, I am a cool kid in heaven. I am popular, and a pretty big deal. The Holy Spirit wants to hang out with me, he wants to talk to me all the time and just chat it up. He always thinks of me and wants to invite me to His parties. He never forgets about me. He remembers my birthday and He was there since the beginning of the concept of me. He positively adores me. He is my best friend. I don’t have to fight for His time, I don’t have to chase him around and ask when he is going to want to hang out with me. I don’t have to be His jester just to get his attention. I don’t have to make him laugh for him to enjoy my company. He just loves me.

 I am accepted in the beloved.

I don’t have to vie for anyone’s time anymore. I don’t have to chase and peruse friendship. I am worth the time. I have a priceless value and my life is worth more than the rarest jewels.

I mean really, I am freaking AWESOME!

It’s taken me some time for to get here and I am still…getting here…or something. I would be wrong for me to say that when I am rejected it doesn’t still hurt a little or when I am not invited to the party I feel a bit unwanted, but I am quickly reminded that I am accepted in the beloved. I am accepted in the beloved. I am accepted in the beloved. Saying that seems to cure some things. It tends to fix the glitch in my system of thinking.

I am accepted in the beloved.

I am not sure what is happening in this season of my life but it’s definitely been something new. Kinda exciting really. I am thrilled to know what the Lord has coming for me, whatever it is, I will be in the best company ever; Me, Holy Spirit, my broski Jesus and my Father God hanging out chilling…you know, in the beloved.

Living life in the beloved,
The Girl He Called Rahel