What am I to do?

I am starting to believe that the concept that has gotten me this far is coming to an end. The lack of desire to know what is coming next is quickly getting exchanged for the need to be monumental.

For a very long time in life, I was quite content with letting things come and go. I was a go with the flow and I’ll just be where I’m at type of girl. Now, as my thirtieth birthday is approaching, my desire to do something is starting to kick in. As I make this graceful exit out of my 20’s I am now starting to feel the need to know what is coming next. I am starting to think about tomorrow.

Living in prayer

Growing out of brokenness

Everything that I want and desire is in Jesus. Everything that I am is in Jesus. The moment that I take my self out of that truth and I set my eyes on lesser things, I open myself up for heartbreak and hurt. This is not to say that people or things are of lesser or no value, but in comparison to the love of Jesus, they just don’t stand up. In the depths of the Heart of God is where I find all that I am and all that I need. When I stop seeking the depths of His heart and start going after other things, I end up in the center of the things I wanted only to find that there is nothing there that can fulfill me. There is nothing there that can sustain me.

Accepted in the Beloved

For a very long time in my life I have been the girl that feels alone in a crowded room. And most times if you asked the people in that room what they thought of me they would have probably said that they loved me or that I was awesome. The sad thing is I would have never believed them.

Or if I did believe them it would have been for as long as I was in their presence and shortly after we parted ways I would have fully believed that they really hated me or strongly dislike me. Maybe I annoyed them and they really just put up with me because it was the Christian thing to do. So for a long time in my life I walked around feeling like the biggest outcast, misfit, poster child for rejection and any other thing you could label a person who is unwanted.

Sunday Morning

I hear a loud 3 year old at what I would consider to be the

crack of dawn on a Sunday morning yelling, “IT’S BEAUTIFUL OUT SIDE”.

I can’t deny that the little tyke might just know what he is talking about. I am
thrilled to see this Sunday with my bestest little cousin in the world. He
really is such a sweet boy. As I was getting him dressed and in between his new
Kung Fu stance that he learned from watching Kung Fu Panda last night, and his
constant mummers of “dragon warrior”, he managed to slip in a “Your hair is
beautiful”. I am pretty sure I melted right then and there. Men take note! This
little champ is stealing hearts left and right. Ladies be on guard, yours might
just be next.